My Journey

I’ve been learning to flex my intuition 

To incubate (incubare, incubo) 

And listen for what I’m trying to say.

The depths of the unconscious are elegant and ravaged, 

Full of lightning strikes and movie stills.

Further in, further up. 

I wish I could experience myself

without old echoes in my head

Feel the warmth of presence 

and see what all the fuss is about 

See if the hype is real and my value 

greater than the sum of my parts

To rest with answers, reassured, 

in the protection of my own arms

Memories residing in my body

Once held down now broken free

Pull upwards to consciousness

To linger in a troubled reverie

Until that time of surrender 

In a gentle act of letting go

To hear, “Peace be upon you”

And finally, “Welcome home”.

I have a knowing in my soul

Let me speak to it:

Intuiting each next choice

Is the best that we can do

Pulling reality out of the truth

Of our unthought known 

Much of what we fear in one another 

Reflects what we had once disowned 

Shameful memories locked up in silence

Biding their time in a cavernous quiet

But therein the shadowy work lies:

In guiding us through the rusted doors 

Forging a path into the sylvan darkness

And coming out into this gracious light

Where lies are disproven and changed

Reborn into wisdom and now finally free

What is the opposite of self-denial? 

It is not tepid acceptance, but rather 

A peaceful and confident self-giving

That comes to define us inside and out

Like a nursing mother, gentle and loving

Who begets life in each profound act

Of selfless nourishment for another

Who will learn and grow to do the same

Continuing this cycle of generativity

Until the final act of every creature ends

As our psyche does not perceive time

Its demands for healing will go unmet

Until the self finds a place of safety

In which to unravel each pain stored

Locked away until such a time as this

It is a precious, vulnerable thing

To behold our self-healing brains

And to allow their plasticity to lead

Toward long-held visions of health

That sustained us in the midst of death

Heaven runs a river through my heart

Winding steadily across this rocky terrain

Coldly alive and fiercely intent

To separate silt from precious gold,

My redemption hidden in the barren ground

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